Hilarious. Enough said….
A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes: “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying.
Damn us women. And here I thought it was God that caused earthquakes…..
PS. And to my gay friends – thanks for all the typhoons, eh?
Has anyone seen TLC’s latest and greatest show called Toddlers and Tiaras? If the combination in the title isn’t enough to make your stomach turn, then I encourage you to watch an episode if you need a good nausea session. These moms are insane. Seriously. If there were any debate about having humans apply for a licence to have children, these women are prime representatives. When you see kids with fake tans, bleached hair with extensions, and more make-up than a drag-queen on Halloween; you know the hairspray fumes have definitely breached the brain. The worst part is these little girls don’t even to want to be there. So I’m sorry psycho-mom, just because you grew up to be a failure, doesn’t mean you turn your girl into a Barbie and vicariously live the dream. And hey, if the girl grows up and decides for herself she wants to enter a pageant, so be-it. But until then, take your haloperidol, deal with your self-esteem issues, and let your kid – be a kid. Le Barf.
It’s official. The World Poutine Eating Championship will be held in Toronto on May 22nd, 2010. If you know me, I love my poutine. I would poutine-ize everthing if it were possible, and I often make attempts to do so. Homefries? Can you poutine that? Onion ring poutine? Can I get a side of steak with my poutine? (now offered at the Heart & Crown). I even love poutine so much I refuse to eat it unless they specifically have St. Albert’s cheese curds. Aside from my heart-attack to-be ways, I have mixed feelings about this competition. But for a reason only a Canadian would really understand. No, my concern is not for the implicit degeneration of our society’s pride in eating unhealthy food and the assumed long-term consequences of these actions. No. It’s that the contest is being held in TORONTO. I suppose it is the centre of the universe… but the home of the poutine belongs to Quebec – their single greatest achievement. What makes matters worse, Quebec residents can’t even enter the competition (by Quebec’s own laws – go figure). Either way, I think Canadians finally have a dish, other than Canadian Bacon I suppose, to call our own. Hmm, what about bacon on poutine? I’m thinking about entering…
I just realized how bloody rich I would be if the government didn’t take such a huge chunk of my money. Then I also realized – hmm, I really like my free health care. It has its major problems, sure (don’t get me started on this.. or the allocation of these dollars in general). But with the sheer amount of injuries both my brother and I had growing up – my parents would have had to definitely euthanize us if they had to pay. And seeing how that’s not legal yet, it wouldn’t have been very pretty. Luckily, we’re both surprisingly alive, and will be around to have our annual scar-off competition. (He’s currently winning, btw). I can’t imagine how the Yanks feel on this historic day. Actually, from what I’m listening to, it sounds like the Americans are quite torn on the issue? Really!? Again, I know our system has problems, but I would say health care is something every Canadian values even more than their morning double-double. So I guess when I look at my pay check, rather than throwing up in my mouth and exercising my ‘right’ to complain; I should just be happy that I know I can walk into a hospital – get fixed – and walk out sans bill. The Americans will undoubtedly freak out at tax-time; but next time they break a leg, I think they’ll thank their lucky socialized stars for the pay-cut.